Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Tip O'Neill Caused the Gulf Oil Spill!

The latest news that Halliburton was involved in the terrible oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico stops too soon. Naturally, The Atlantic uncovers half the story, then they stop once they find they've twisted the path to find the answer they like.

Trying to blame the Great Satan Halliburton for causing the oil spill is just too silly for words, but the usual crowd of fools have bought the fairy tale and are spreading it faster than oil on water.

U.S. Minerals Mis Management So Called Service Logo
Of course, there's no blame to the group that's supposed to be over seeing the process. It's all Halliburton, Halliburton, Halliburton. If the Minerals Management Service (so-called) had all the data, why did they approve this operation?

Liz Birnbaum, head of MMS, explains
Always an excuse, never an explanation. Liz Birnbaum, head of the MMS.

Ken Salazar, spreads FUD.
Fortunately, it's all easily explained as Bush's fault, as Secretary of the Interior Salazar demonstrates. Or Cheney's, what's the diff?

Napolitano describes the government response to the oil spill.
The government's response to the oil spill was quick, says Janet Napolitano, once they decided to get off their duff, three or four days later, and decided to start looking around to see if they can find the car keys and cell phone and stuff. So they could start making speeches and threats to BP.

MMS Gulf Region Flunky. A Born Loser, built to take a fall.
Fortunately, the government is prepared. They've got a doughy white guy pre-positioned in the MMS's Gulf Region all ready to be set up for a fall if there is any public outcry against the government. Obama: "It's not my buck!" Napolitano: "We've been all over this, and besides, the buck never got here!" Salazar: "Don't look at me!" Birnbaum: "Keep looking, I'm not going down."
Lars Herbst: "Huh? Uh-oh..."

Tip O'Neill explains his theory of government.
Fortunately, they can keep following the thread back. Another chunky white guy, Tip O'Neill, was behind the Federal Oil and Gas Royalty Management Act, emphasis on the "Royalty", which put the MMS in charge here. So blame the dead guy. If that doesn't stick, prepare a public confession ala 1984 for Mr. Herbst.

1 comment:

  1. LOVED IT!!! Laughed my ass off. Thanks I needed that.