Guam Tipping Over: Use a Skyhook!

He had the answer to global communications. Perhaps he saw how we can save Guam from tipping over?

There's a Congressman who's deeply concerned that Guam tipping over. He's shows a great degree of concern for the inhabitants of the island, and rightly so, given the nature of the threat to them this would pose.

Something must be done. We must understand the problem, then find a solution.

Stress Test the Islands

Maybe he's onto something that the rest of us are blinded to by our "conventional" thought, however. In the spirit of leaving no stone unturned, I think it's important that we start doing careful tests of the islands managed by the U.S. to make sure they won't tip.

First, we need to clear paths between the two sides of some of our smaller islands--across the narrow way, of course. Then, have the population march from one side to another while satellites measure the amount of movement. Perhaps draw them there with free beer and soda. Once they've sated themselves on one side of the island, open up restrooms on the far side. Put out bowls of chips and popcorn, then they'll be back at the sodas soon.

Careful measurements should allow us to figure out which islands need to have outriggers and pontoons attached to them for the safety of their population. Perhaps this would be a good reason to develop the "skyhook" technology Arthur C. Clarke was talking about. It would:

• Steady the island, and hold it up if necessary (perhaps raising it above tsunamis!)


• Provide a convenient navigational reference to islanders travelling in traditional means, without GPS aids.


• Boost the local economy, allowing the locals to lift satellites to orbit without the use of noisy, expensive, and ecologically unsound rockets.

Sounds like a win-win-win scenario!

The Real Concern

I'm more concerned about the Congressman, myself. From the sounds of things he should be getting medical care, rather than being sent to Congress. He's got real mental problems with a medical cause, and it's unfortunate that he's being used this way by those around him.

What's the excuse for the people who elected him, the people in the party that put him in this position, and those people that call themselves "reporters" in his district?